How do we get on the internet now???

So for those of you not familiar enough with my beloved John, here is a little background info for you- he is a sleepwalker. I mean, one of those fun ones, who gives you stories to tell. For example, when I was pregnant with Dillon, I developed insomnia, and a small case of tired and lazy. I would stay up late reading in bed next to John, and when I needed something, I would rouse him to a semi conscious state, and send him on errands of which he later would have no memory. And when Dillon was born, he stayed in the hospital room with me, but was unable to provide any actual help. See, once Dillon fell asleep on my tummy, and I needed to use the restroom, so I called John....and called John....and called John. Yeah, you get the idea. Finally he popped up from the terribly uncomfortable fold out chair, grabs his pillow and starts shhh'ing and cooing to it like it was the baby. Mhmmm....no help there. I took the baby to the bathroom with me. Then we got home and settled in, and thus follows the poor quality sleep that only a newborn can provide, and all of the sudden strange things start happening, like waking up and finding picture frames removed from the wall for no apparent reason. Well, over our nearly eleven blissful years *chuckle* John has not failed to add to his repertoire. From invisible invaders in the middle of the night, to chasing our own dog around the house (poor, confused Dizzy), yelling at her, demanding that she get out, and irately demanding of me, "Did you see that dog jump through the window?!?!", the entertainment is always varying and unpredictable. Ahhh, memories! Well, here is this mornings memory. Picture it: me, snoozing deeply in bed, only to be wakened by my wonderful honey as he asks, "Honey, I know this is gonna seem like an odd question, but....have you seen the router?" Now, tell me, would this not make your eyes pop open in confusion, or what? Mine sure did. And what do I see but a sheepish smile, bright blue eyes and a hand holding a lone antenna....detached from the mysteriously missing router. Not under the bed..... Not along the wall..... Not behind the curtain... Aha, there it is! Sitting on the nightstand, completely unplugged and wires all detached. Now, I don't know what middle of the night emergency led to the router removal, but I am sure it made sense to John, somehow. As for me, it is just another story to add to the Silly Stories Starring John book I am working on. Ten more years, and I will be all set to publish!